~Sniff~

Dear Blogger:

In 2 months 1 week and 1 day I'll be getting married.

But it feels like the world is coming down on me.

The wedding is in Australia, the invitations have been sent out already.

~sigh~ But I'm so nervous. I wanted the fairy tale wedding, but now I'm even wondering if that's what I want at all. I get hives just thinking about really... getting married...

And then I remember my 16 year old self who used to whore around with everybody and hated the very idea of commitment. God... I'm getting freakin' cold feet and the worst part is that I have no one with whom to talk that about. Everyone is too busy with their own troubles.

Worst of all... it's been so hot these days. It's as if the heat is getting to me and driving me crazy.

I'm not sleeping... and I'm not eating. And for a woman that was raised in Italy, the latter is terrible.

I want to cry. I justwant to. I'm feeling ever so lonely and I can't do anything about it. I just want to run away, but then I breathe and remember that I love him and that this, whatever I'm going through is normal.... (or so they say in the Knot).

Everything is ready... the chapel, the decoration has been set, the china, the music, the everything... all that's left is to get married....

Excuse me now.... I think I'm going to be sick