The toilet is on the floor.
No. Wait. The toilet is the floor?
The toilet in my hotel room is awesome. But this... this gives me goosebumps. I HAD to take a picture on my sidekick and blog about it, because I am in horror.
We're at a traditional restaurant. I'm with part of the executives of the fashion show, some designer friends, and we're celebrating the first day of the show, which turned out to be marvelous. I need to go to the bathroom, I excuse myself and find this:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLZmJGGJd63-2aCfYMsm0F78EwVHRx5EKRBi114NlzQt93DV2vFj0WzugBUZB-RVcpg6J5JO8uDh__s1AXJI2CXhg0NEiel5lH8NVSe700JoLqBKDYdMRtt4cfN69ULu0ERG-3T8Js67Gg/s400/squat+toilet.jpg
Oh. You've got to be kidding me.
As I look around the room. I find THIS:
http://www.japanitup.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/japanese-toilet.jpg
Oh, so help me GOD, I am NOT squatting, as though I were in some grass field. NO WAY. I can't DO that. Though colorful and pinkish, it's all so disturbing I exit the room and go back to the table. My face is pale. They ask me what's wrong, but I can't insult their tradition, let alone can I tell them that I really need TO PEE, but won't do so because I refuse to squat.
The evening slows considerably. Every time someone mentions water, I get dizzy. 20 minutes later, squatting doesn't seem like such a bad idea.
"Alright, for the main course now." says a friend.
My eyes widen in horror.
I had to do it.
....
I'm not liking Japan so much anymore.
We leave the restaurant and head towards one of those shows, where you watch geishas dancing to the pretty sound of the music. Okay much better.
Have to go now! Ciao! :D
btw. I miss my BF!! T_T
Geisha Dreams
I'm in japan.
For Starters: I was supposed to leave in one of the Delton airplanes. Oh. Turned out, that since I didn't leave when I said I would (because I stayed with my boyfriend during the rest of the day), I had to take a commercial airline. I ended up booking a flight, last minute. Luckily, I was able to find a first class offer in Alitalia. And I was surprised! The flight would only take 12 hours and 10 minutes. I didn't think twice. If I didn't get to that fashion show in Japan, I would've certainly lost good future clients. For sure.
I got into the plane, making last minute reservations in the Ritz-Carlton in Tokyo. http://www.ritzcarlton.com/en/Properties/Tokyo/Default.htm Jealous much?
The flight. I get really bored in airplanes given the fact that I'm a naturally full of adrenaline person. Therefore, I was simply moving in my chair, playing sudoku, watching movie, taking out laptop, putting laptop back in, reading book, putting away book, turning off the reading light, turning it back on again, going to the bathroom, moving my feet, moving the reclinable seat... by the 8th hour, I just stared blankly at the airplane ceiling. It was white. Or blue? I was seeing different colors. As I stared at my watch and realized there were still 4 more hours to go, I tried to get some sleep. That didn't work, either. I searched the whole plane for a bloody flight attendant who could give me some tylenol sleep or anything that would send me over to Morpheus' side. No one had anything. No one knew what I was talking about. At the 9th hour I was regretting ever taking the trip. At the 10th hour I imagined myself as a bloodsucking zombie and realized my eyes were heavy. Was I getting sleepy? At the 11th hour, I closed my eyes! YES! I WAS SLEEPING! FINALLY! YAY! Hooray! When I woke up I felt refreshed and ready to arrive. I had probably left for the remaining hour and thirty minutes, had I not? I smiled at my watch. The smile disappeared.
15 minutes.
I slept for 15 minutes.
When I finally arrived to Japan, I felt the whole world turning around. If I had consumed alcohol I would've blamed it on some margarita. But no, I was suffering some potent jet lag.
By the time I arrived to the hotel at noon, I was missing Christian. I wanted to just go back home and hug him. I felt like crying. Did jet lag make you sensible too? Was he missing me too?
Eric called me a bitch for coming to Japan without him. Well, SO-UGH-RRY.
I couldn't phone Christian. Is something wrong with the phones here? Should I dial backwards so that this blo*** Shi*** gets FU*** working. Ugh. I'm not a person prone to saying bad words, but I will say one bad word if I so much as see another plane.....
My mood got better as I wrote the first part of this blog. Christian will probably read it and know I'm well. I have to call him. Can't get my phone to work. Will buy a calling card tomorrow. Does he care if I phone or not? is he worried? ugh. Luciaaaa, calm down.
I got comfy in the hotel and went to sleep.
Now, Today...
I've visited a lot of places. The fashion show is tomorrow, reason why I got to do some tourism. Like:
1.A traditional tea ceremony (YAY) It was soooooooooo coool! :D
2. Went to some japanese temples
3. Met a Kyudo master
4. Used Japanese Toilet Slippers http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e9/JapaneseToiletSlippers.jpg
(No comments)
5. Ate fish and rice for breakfast
6. Went to a japanese festival.
Btw. I'm not understanding ANYTHING. I do have a friend that's guiding me around. If I didn't have him, I wouldn't have gotten back to the hotel, because no one really speaks English over here... or french, or Italian, or even german.
I bought myself the Learning japanese gameboy advanced game. Hope that works.
Did I mention I miss Christian? I miss youuuuuuuuuu!
For Starters: I was supposed to leave in one of the Delton airplanes. Oh. Turned out, that since I didn't leave when I said I would (because I stayed with my boyfriend during the rest of the day), I had to take a commercial airline. I ended up booking a flight, last minute. Luckily, I was able to find a first class offer in Alitalia. And I was surprised! The flight would only take 12 hours and 10 minutes. I didn't think twice. If I didn't get to that fashion show in Japan, I would've certainly lost good future clients. For sure.
I got into the plane, making last minute reservations in the Ritz-Carlton in Tokyo. http://www.ritzcarlton.com/en/Properties/Tokyo/Default.htm Jealous much?
The flight. I get really bored in airplanes given the fact that I'm a naturally full of adrenaline person. Therefore, I was simply moving in my chair, playing sudoku, watching movie, taking out laptop, putting laptop back in, reading book, putting away book, turning off the reading light, turning it back on again, going to the bathroom, moving my feet, moving the reclinable seat... by the 8th hour, I just stared blankly at the airplane ceiling. It was white. Or blue? I was seeing different colors. As I stared at my watch and realized there were still 4 more hours to go, I tried to get some sleep. That didn't work, either. I searched the whole plane for a bloody flight attendant who could give me some tylenol sleep or anything that would send me over to Morpheus' side. No one had anything. No one knew what I was talking about. At the 9th hour I was regretting ever taking the trip. At the 10th hour I imagined myself as a bloodsucking zombie and realized my eyes were heavy. Was I getting sleepy? At the 11th hour, I closed my eyes! YES! I WAS SLEEPING! FINALLY! YAY! Hooray! When I woke up I felt refreshed and ready to arrive. I had probably left for the remaining hour and thirty minutes, had I not? I smiled at my watch. The smile disappeared.
15 minutes.
I slept for 15 minutes.
When I finally arrived to Japan, I felt the whole world turning around. If I had consumed alcohol I would've blamed it on some margarita. But no, I was suffering some potent jet lag.
By the time I arrived to the hotel at noon, I was missing Christian. I wanted to just go back home and hug him. I felt like crying. Did jet lag make you sensible too? Was he missing me too?
Eric called me a bitch for coming to Japan without him. Well, SO-UGH-RRY.
I couldn't phone Christian. Is something wrong with the phones here? Should I dial backwards so that this blo*** Shi*** gets FU*** working. Ugh. I'm not a person prone to saying bad words, but I will say one bad word if I so much as see another plane.....
My mood got better as I wrote the first part of this blog. Christian will probably read it and know I'm well. I have to call him. Can't get my phone to work. Will buy a calling card tomorrow. Does he care if I phone or not? is he worried? ugh. Luciaaaa, calm down.
I got comfy in the hotel and went to sleep.
Now, Today...
I've visited a lot of places. The fashion show is tomorrow, reason why I got to do some tourism. Like:
1.A traditional tea ceremony (YAY) It was soooooooooo coool! :D
2. Went to some japanese temples
3. Met a Kyudo master
4. Used Japanese Toilet Slippers http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e9/JapaneseToiletSlippers.jpg
(No comments)
5. Ate fish and rice for breakfast
6. Went to a japanese festival.
Btw. I'm not understanding ANYTHING. I do have a friend that's guiding me around. If I didn't have him, I wouldn't have gotten back to the hotel, because no one really speaks English over here... or french, or Italian, or even german.
I bought myself the Learning japanese gameboy advanced game. Hope that works.
Did I mention I miss Christian? I miss youuuuuuuuuu!
The Other Me
Born: December 8th -- SAGITTARIUS
I'm not a GEMINI, though apparently, everything about me wants to be. Sometimes I want something with all my being, yet a part of me wants just the contrary. Take breakfast, for example. This morning I wanted pancakes. BIG, JUICY, COVERED WITH MAPLE SYRUP pancakes. Nonetheless, a small part of my brain said "NO, FRUITS! FRUITS!". I ended up having coffee at the local cafeteria and a croissant on my way to work.
And these are the small decisions. You have no idea how tough it is to decide what pair of shoes I'll be wearing for the day.
Just like that, my insecurities are all reflected into that part of my head, or my heart, or my soul. I read a friend of mine talk about damaged goods, God, and I could relate. Damaged? More like totally and completely hopeless in this side. Is it normal? Is it normal for someone to have these many voices coming from within urging you to do things that, in principle, are contrary to your nature? I just wish I weren't so scared all the time.
I told her, I'd carved my place, and I did. I created somewhere where I could live. As to finding a place? No. I'm still searching. And I'm so scared I might just give in, into these insecurities that consume me.
I'm not a GEMINI, though apparently, everything about me wants to be. Sometimes I want something with all my being, yet a part of me wants just the contrary. Take breakfast, for example. This morning I wanted pancakes. BIG, JUICY, COVERED WITH MAPLE SYRUP pancakes. Nonetheless, a small part of my brain said "NO, FRUITS! FRUITS!". I ended up having coffee at the local cafeteria and a croissant on my way to work.
And these are the small decisions. You have no idea how tough it is to decide what pair of shoes I'll be wearing for the day.
Just like that, my insecurities are all reflected into that part of my head, or my heart, or my soul. I read a friend of mine talk about damaged goods, God, and I could relate. Damaged? More like totally and completely hopeless in this side. Is it normal? Is it normal for someone to have these many voices coming from within urging you to do things that, in principle, are contrary to your nature? I just wish I weren't so scared all the time.
I told her, I'd carved my place, and I did. I created somewhere where I could live. As to finding a place? No. I'm still searching. And I'm so scared I might just give in, into these insecurities that consume me.
SEARCHING FOR A ROOMIE!!
Ashley and Caroline are both here, helping me move things from here to there. I just came back from the party after my fashion show. It was great. But... I feel pretty uncomfortable.
"Hey..."
Both girls turn to look at me. They both have very commanding expressions. Ashley's eyes, fierce green, stare at me as though she responds to no one. Carol's light blue eyes let everyone know that she considers she rules the world and no one else. How did I ever befriend such people? ^^;
"What?" Ashley snarls. She doesn't like the idea of helping me pick up the apartment, but she's passing through, staying over the night.
Carol looks at her and crosses her arms. "Tone it down over there, monkey. Just because your loverboy isn't here, we've had enough of your sulking."
Ashley frowns and fixes the books in the shelves. "FYI, I'm meeting up with Rink tomorrow. I wonder if Leo's giving it to you, though.... you've been in a horrible mood, cousin." she smirks.
As they both start bickering over something so completely pointless, I stare. They're not listening to me. Of course they're not.
"Hey........" I try again, but I'm invisible now as they're revealing intimate details of their love life I have no interest whatsoever in knowing about.
I'm still being ignored.
"I SAID HEY!" I scream.
They both stare at me, as though I've lost it. I don't like forcing my voice.
"I'm sorry, Lucia, you were saying?" Caroline looks at me, quirking an eyebrow.
I stare at them both. "If you tell a guy you really really like him and he answers back 'that's always lovely to hear'" should I feel bad about that?"
Ashley scoffed. "HAHAHA! What kind of answer is that? I'd say that's pretty weak XD"
Caroline hit Ash with her elbow and looked at me. "I'm taking that happened between you and Christian?"
"Yes, but... at least he didn't seem to be uncomfortable about me saying it? I really didn't want to say anything, but it kinda just slipped... the adrenaline of the moment and all."
Ash frowned. "You shouldn't be with a guy who can't even tell you if he likes you or not. It seems to me as though you're hanging on a thread and you don't know when you're going to fall."
"Shut up, Ash." Carol glared at her. "I definitely think that what you're doing is fine. Christian is just like that, I mean, he seems to be that way. As a lawyer, it is my duty to read people's personalities, and it seems to me that he likes you. If not why would he be with you? Look at Eric and Rory, they're 'soulmates', but they each love someone and even with the matchmaking stuff, they can't refrain from being with those they really like!"
"I wasn't going to think much about it... but I just wanted to consult it with... someone.... I mean, if Leonardo or Rink answered you like that what would you two do...?"
"I'd KILL him." Ash murmured.
"But you're not with either Leonardo or Rink." Carol placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled. "I think you handle things pretty well. Hang in there."
"Truth is...." Ashley looked at me. "If you think it's alright, if that's what you want, then you have nothing to fret about. Every person has a different reaction."
"So it's good that I don't worry?"
"It's good." Caroline smirked
"It's okay."Ash nodded.
"Hey..."
Both girls turn to look at me. They both have very commanding expressions. Ashley's eyes, fierce green, stare at me as though she responds to no one. Carol's light blue eyes let everyone know that she considers she rules the world and no one else. How did I ever befriend such people? ^^;
"What?" Ashley snarls. She doesn't like the idea of helping me pick up the apartment, but she's passing through, staying over the night.
Carol looks at her and crosses her arms. "Tone it down over there, monkey. Just because your loverboy isn't here, we've had enough of your sulking."
Ashley frowns and fixes the books in the shelves. "FYI, I'm meeting up with Rink tomorrow. I wonder if Leo's giving it to you, though.... you've been in a horrible mood, cousin." she smirks.
As they both start bickering over something so completely pointless, I stare. They're not listening to me. Of course they're not.
"Hey........" I try again, but I'm invisible now as they're revealing intimate details of their love life I have no interest whatsoever in knowing about.
I'm still being ignored.
"I SAID HEY!" I scream.
They both stare at me, as though I've lost it. I don't like forcing my voice.
"I'm sorry, Lucia, you were saying?" Caroline looks at me, quirking an eyebrow.
I stare at them both. "If you tell a guy you really really like him and he answers back 'that's always lovely to hear'" should I feel bad about that?"
Ashley scoffed. "HAHAHA! What kind of answer is that? I'd say that's pretty weak XD"
Caroline hit Ash with her elbow and looked at me. "I'm taking that happened between you and Christian?"
"Yes, but... at least he didn't seem to be uncomfortable about me saying it? I really didn't want to say anything, but it kinda just slipped... the adrenaline of the moment and all."
Ash frowned. "You shouldn't be with a guy who can't even tell you if he likes you or not. It seems to me as though you're hanging on a thread and you don't know when you're going to fall."
"Shut up, Ash." Carol glared at her. "I definitely think that what you're doing is fine. Christian is just like that, I mean, he seems to be that way. As a lawyer, it is my duty to read people's personalities, and it seems to me that he likes you. If not why would he be with you? Look at Eric and Rory, they're 'soulmates', but they each love someone and even with the matchmaking stuff, they can't refrain from being with those they really like!"
"I wasn't going to think much about it... but I just wanted to consult it with... someone.... I mean, if Leonardo or Rink answered you like that what would you two do...?"
"I'd KILL him." Ash murmured.
"But you're not with either Leonardo or Rink." Carol placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled. "I think you handle things pretty well. Hang in there."
"Truth is...." Ashley looked at me. "If you think it's alright, if that's what you want, then you have nothing to fret about. Every person has a different reaction."
"So it's good that I don't worry?"
"It's good." Caroline smirked
"It's okay."Ash nodded.
Anxiety
I spent the day with Christian today (or yesterday). We had a little picnic in Hyde Park with a variety of goodies, very nice. And then we saw two movies, played monopoly (which I had never played before), finalizing the evening with a two question length game of truth and dare and a make out session. I picked up the remnants of the day and carefully cleaned everything until it was spotless.
And then the anxiety began. Slowly, but certainly, it creeped into my skin. I shook my head and tried to shake it off, but as I lay in the solitude of my room it imploded and exploded in the blink of an eye. One minute I was fine, another minute I had sat up in my bed hyperventilating. My second chance at living did not come without its repercussions. Added to my fear of blood and disease, came along an overpowering fear of death itself. I don't want to die.
Just as soon as I thought the phrase, I was walking half way through the room, towards the bathroom, washing my face with water. I don't want to die, I don't want to die, but I will nonetheless die some day. I can't escape it, my life will end. I sat down again in the bed, trying to overcome the wave after wave of graphic images of death the crept through my mind. I felt sick. There was nothing I could do to change that fate. I wanted to cry. I started crying.
I called everyone. I mean it. EVERYONE. No one picked up. What now? What now? God, help me, I'm scared. Before I wasn't living and I yearned to die, but now I was living and with every step I took to discover more of what I wanted and who I wanted to be, the fears just kept growing.
Why doesn't anyone pick up the phone? The anxiety is killing me. I need to Breathe, breathe. Now what?
I'm not a coward. I won't keep worrying over that. But I will die and who I am will cease to exist, and I will be no more. I'm terrified. I want my mom and dad, but they can't be here. I'm a child again and I've been cornered...
... and just like that, I closed my eyes and prayed. Pray. Pray. I snuggled into my bed and turned on the TV to its loudest level.
And then came the insecurities along with the anxiety, until my eyes closed on their own and fear gave way to how tired I was.
This isn't normal. I need to just accept it and go on. Go on. Go on.
And then the anxiety began. Slowly, but certainly, it creeped into my skin. I shook my head and tried to shake it off, but as I lay in the solitude of my room it imploded and exploded in the blink of an eye. One minute I was fine, another minute I had sat up in my bed hyperventilating. My second chance at living did not come without its repercussions. Added to my fear of blood and disease, came along an overpowering fear of death itself. I don't want to die.
Just as soon as I thought the phrase, I was walking half way through the room, towards the bathroom, washing my face with water. I don't want to die, I don't want to die, but I will nonetheless die some day. I can't escape it, my life will end. I sat down again in the bed, trying to overcome the wave after wave of graphic images of death the crept through my mind. I felt sick. There was nothing I could do to change that fate. I wanted to cry. I started crying.
I called everyone. I mean it. EVERYONE. No one picked up. What now? What now? God, help me, I'm scared. Before I wasn't living and I yearned to die, but now I was living and with every step I took to discover more of what I wanted and who I wanted to be, the fears just kept growing.
Why doesn't anyone pick up the phone? The anxiety is killing me. I need to Breathe, breathe. Now what?
I'm not a coward. I won't keep worrying over that. But I will die and who I am will cease to exist, and I will be no more. I'm terrified. I want my mom and dad, but they can't be here. I'm a child again and I've been cornered...
... and just like that, I closed my eyes and prayed. Pray. Pray. I snuggled into my bed and turned on the TV to its loudest level.
And then came the insecurities along with the anxiety, until my eyes closed on their own and fear gave way to how tired I was.
This isn't normal. I need to just accept it and go on. Go on. Go on.
Round 2
This time I'm not repeating my mistakes. Mistakes are good because you learn from them, aren't they? I've learned. Is that part of having grown up? Am I ready now? I want to be.
The words I told Nathan weeks ago come back to my mind: the things I desired, the things I could handle, what I wanted, what I wished to stay away from. They kept coming back to me.
I still like Christian. I really do. Even as I tried to convince myself that it had all been a foolish illusion in my head, my feelings were real. I know this, because I found myself last night, wanting to know him, wanting to be there for him. I realized in seconds just how childish I had been before. If you truly like someone you're supposed to compromise for that person. Then why didn't I see that before? Nathan was right, I was still confused and in a moment I wasn't ready, because I was still changing. Bad moment. But now, now that I feel much more defined and in balance with myself, I understood what it meant to like someone. Sure, it hurts, you're giving yourself, and you become vulnerable for that person, but it's worth it, when you see that person smile, or even so much as acknowledge you.
He's a person who likes to be in control. He's tight, and well, let's face it, square, but I find that all the more endearing now. I'm the complete opposite. I hold nothing back. Yesterday, I sat before him, and I wanted to learn from him. I desired to compromise, I was willing to step out of my own boundary of commodity to understand his reasoning and accept him as who he is. I was a coward before, mayhap I have more courage now.
Softly, slowly, I want to know him. I don't want to rush things, it's still so fragile. This feeling, I want to nurture it... I don't want the pressure or the fast pace of today's society. I definetely want to move steadily forward, making sure I enjoy whatever happens. Round 2? I seem to get plenty of second chances, and I thank God for that. Thoroughly.
He kissed me. Well, he asked if he could kiss me. Considering what happened previously, I don't blame him for asking. His kiss was devastating for me. For a person such as myself, with experience galore, the kiss meant a new beginning. It was unlike anything I had previously lived, as though, my emotions were on the verge of going array. I wanted him to taste me, but I also wanted to taste, I wanted him to touch me, and I wanted to respond in kind. I felt myself shy once more as what already stood so delicately in a plane above my control, swept me away. And I wanted it to last forever, I wanted to take my time, losing myself in the devastation of it all.
I'm surprised at my own reaction! I really do like this.... I really really like him.
The words I told Nathan weeks ago come back to my mind: the things I desired, the things I could handle, what I wanted, what I wished to stay away from. They kept coming back to me.
I still like Christian. I really do. Even as I tried to convince myself that it had all been a foolish illusion in my head, my feelings were real. I know this, because I found myself last night, wanting to know him, wanting to be there for him. I realized in seconds just how childish I had been before. If you truly like someone you're supposed to compromise for that person. Then why didn't I see that before? Nathan was right, I was still confused and in a moment I wasn't ready, because I was still changing. Bad moment. But now, now that I feel much more defined and in balance with myself, I understood what it meant to like someone. Sure, it hurts, you're giving yourself, and you become vulnerable for that person, but it's worth it, when you see that person smile, or even so much as acknowledge you.
He's a person who likes to be in control. He's tight, and well, let's face it, square, but I find that all the more endearing now. I'm the complete opposite. I hold nothing back. Yesterday, I sat before him, and I wanted to learn from him. I desired to compromise, I was willing to step out of my own boundary of commodity to understand his reasoning and accept him as who he is. I was a coward before, mayhap I have more courage now.
Softly, slowly, I want to know him. I don't want to rush things, it's still so fragile. This feeling, I want to nurture it... I don't want the pressure or the fast pace of today's society. I definetely want to move steadily forward, making sure I enjoy whatever happens. Round 2? I seem to get plenty of second chances, and I thank God for that. Thoroughly.
He kissed me. Well, he asked if he could kiss me. Considering what happened previously, I don't blame him for asking. His kiss was devastating for me. For a person such as myself, with experience galore, the kiss meant a new beginning. It was unlike anything I had previously lived, as though, my emotions were on the verge of going array. I wanted him to taste me, but I also wanted to taste, I wanted him to touch me, and I wanted to respond in kind. I felt myself shy once more as what already stood so delicately in a plane above my control, swept me away. And I wanted it to last forever, I wanted to take my time, losing myself in the devastation of it all.
I'm surprised at my own reaction! I really do like this.... I really really like him.
Matchmaker
-sniiiiiiiiiff-
Guess what? They played matchmaking today. And I was just like one of these kids back in elementary which don't get picked into any of the teams, and then like the team leaders are "aww, do we HAVE to take them?" And here I was thinking that I was at the top of my game. Worst part is that I ended back with Christian. Yep. **See the Stupid entry below.
Bloody Arrow. I thought my life was supposed to be balanced! And this just throws me right off! I mean, I know we were going to be friends and start from the beginning! But how is it that I ended right back with Christian! I called my sensei to rant about it! You know what he said! That maybe the target I think I want to focus on is not the target I'm destined to hit. I KNOW! That doesn't make sense at all!
Balance. Think Balance. I'm going to think positive. I'll handle this in a mature, womanly form. I'll be okay. This will be okay. Even though like I'm shaking with nerves, I'll be fine.
Right?
Guess what? They played matchmaking today. And I was just like one of these kids back in elementary which don't get picked into any of the teams, and then like the team leaders are "aww, do we HAVE to take them?" And here I was thinking that I was at the top of my game. Worst part is that I ended back with Christian. Yep. **See the Stupid entry below.
Bloody Arrow. I thought my life was supposed to be balanced! And this just throws me right off! I mean, I know we were going to be friends and start from the beginning! But how is it that I ended right back with Christian! I called my sensei to rant about it! You know what he said! That maybe the target I think I want to focus on is not the target I'm destined to hit. I KNOW! That doesn't make sense at all!
Balance. Think Balance. I'm going to think positive. I'll handle this in a mature, womanly form. I'll be okay. This will be okay. Even though like I'm shaking with nerves, I'll be fine.
Right?
Within Me
"The arrow is the soul, the bow is the body, and your target is your life's reason and purpose. You can only hit your target when both body and soul are in balance." That's what my kyudo teacher kept murmuring during the lessons.
Just two weeks ago I made up my mind of formally becoming part of a dojo and getting some lessons in yoga and kyudo. Caroline, who happens to be a black belt, knew some great dojos in Milan, which I promptly proceeded to visit. There was one in particular, which caught my attention, located in the outer perimeter of the city. It was quite peaceful, with a temple and everything. I was attracted instantly. I joined the very same day I visited. Consequently, I leave the store at four, just to make it to my five o'clock lessons. I end up spending two hours here and getting to my house at eight. I love it. It's the best decision I've ever made.
I think too much. That's what my Sensei says at least.
Seisha Hitchu = true shooting, certain hitting
The purpose of kyudo is to obtain true beauty through the shooting. Eventually, if your form (aka spirit and body are in order) you will achieve the 'true' shooting and you will certainly hit. The same policy should be applied to life. Kyudo, in its purest form, is after all, a philosophy; not only rudementary shooting.
The first few days Sensei scolded me, because though I hit the target, my form was short from beautiful. However, as the days pass by, he simply nods and repeats phrases that incite me to center myself. I guess that means I'm doing a better job at it.
The yoga classes, which I take after the kyudo, are also quite interesting and very refreshing.
When I tell some of my friends about the lessons, their reactions are very different:
Ash: What a load of crap... <-- and she puts this face of complete annoyance which is amusing.
Carol: Eh.... Whao. Interesting... <--- which she doesn't mean in the least
I still have to tell Veronique about all this. I'm sure she'd be slightly interested... or maybe not, but she likes all those superstitious things, which by the by, I bought her a yellow lucky cat! Ah! I'm sure Nathan and Rudyard would be interested!
I want tea. I think I'm really obsessed with it. Did I mention I have a tea room in my house? Agh! I have to FEED MY GOLDFISH!
Just two weeks ago I made up my mind of formally becoming part of a dojo and getting some lessons in yoga and kyudo. Caroline, who happens to be a black belt, knew some great dojos in Milan, which I promptly proceeded to visit. There was one in particular, which caught my attention, located in the outer perimeter of the city. It was quite peaceful, with a temple and everything. I was attracted instantly. I joined the very same day I visited. Consequently, I leave the store at four, just to make it to my five o'clock lessons. I end up spending two hours here and getting to my house at eight. I love it. It's the best decision I've ever made.
I think too much. That's what my Sensei says at least.
Seisha Hitchu = true shooting, certain hitting
The purpose of kyudo is to obtain true beauty through the shooting. Eventually, if your form (aka spirit and body are in order) you will achieve the 'true' shooting and you will certainly hit. The same policy should be applied to life. Kyudo, in its purest form, is after all, a philosophy; not only rudementary shooting.
The first few days Sensei scolded me, because though I hit the target, my form was short from beautiful. However, as the days pass by, he simply nods and repeats phrases that incite me to center myself. I guess that means I'm doing a better job at it.
The yoga classes, which I take after the kyudo, are also quite interesting and very refreshing.
When I tell some of my friends about the lessons, their reactions are very different:
Ash: What a load of crap... <-- and she puts this face of complete annoyance which is amusing.
Carol: Eh.... Whao. Interesting... <--- which she doesn't mean in the least
I still have to tell Veronique about all this. I'm sure she'd be slightly interested... or maybe not, but she likes all those superstitious things, which by the by, I bought her a yellow lucky cat! Ah! I'm sure Nathan and Rudyard would be interested!
I want tea. I think I'm really obsessed with it. Did I mention I have a tea room in my house? Agh! I have to FEED MY GOLDFISH!