The Other Me

Born: December 8th -- SAGITTARIUS

I'm not a GEMINI, though apparently, everything about me wants to be. Sometimes I want something with all my being, yet a part of me wants just the contrary. Take breakfast, for example. This morning I wanted pancakes. BIG, JUICY, COVERED WITH MAPLE SYRUP pancakes. Nonetheless, a small part of my brain said "NO, FRUITS! FRUITS!". I ended up having coffee at the local cafeteria and a croissant on my way to work.

And these are the small decisions. You have no idea how tough it is to decide what pair of shoes I'll be wearing for the day.

Just like that, my insecurities are all reflected into that part of my head, or my heart, or my soul. I read a friend of mine talk about damaged goods, God, and I could relate. Damaged? More like totally and completely hopeless in this side. Is it normal? Is it normal for someone to have these many voices coming from within urging you to do things that, in principle, are contrary to your nature? I just wish I weren't so scared all the time.

I told her, I'd carved my place, and I did. I created somewhere where I could live. As to finding a place? No. I'm still searching. And I'm so scared I might just give in, into these insecurities that consume me.